cancer diary

16. blessing the shower

An unpleasant, uncomfortable long night with a fever and a peculiar bed-bound discomfort where the body seems to be pressed into all the hard bits by inertia, gravity and helplessness.

The morphine was taken away because I wasn’t using it. An Irish night nurse (lovely voice) only came in a couple of times during the night. Once when the alarm on my drip went off because it was empty. Call from my brother Tim this morning cheered me up as he keeps it all in perspective. A rough nurse took over the morning shift. She pulled at my tubes and kept turning on the light so that it beamed straight into my eyes and then left the room. But later, she suggested I have a shower. A great idea!

The logistics of moving me with all the equipment and tubes was fairly complex. But we made it to bathroom and once we’d managed to untangle the gown and the tubes and then pull the drip through the sleeve she left me to it.

reflections of the drip and bags in the bathroom

reflections of the drip and bags in the bathroom

I think I was meant to sit down on a plastic chair but it was such a relief to do my teeth and have a shave that it seemed better to stand for as long as I could. It’s now about an hour later and I’m still standing while I write this. Vivienne, the physio is coming back to try to get me to cough. The longer I stand the easier it seems to be – to be upright. Ahhh what a blessing is the shower…

the blessings of a shower

the blessings of a shower

I was able to see the wound in the mirror and the extent to which I’d been shaved (like a plucked chicken). My poor old zab (penis) is shrivelled and black with bruising. Together with my still bloated bladder I’m not a pretty site.

I had a hearty lunch of beef and mushroom pie with peas and pumpkin. Susan arrived and massaged my feet and neck which was nice. She is not sleeping well. We hung out for a while and she has now gone off to a family Xmas party in Williamstown. I’m hoping she will be able to collect the solar panel data for me this evening but it’s very grey outside and the inverters may turn off early. If I can get the data, then I’ll send a happy day collating and displaying the results – to morrow I’ve be warned, to expect 3rd day blues.

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  1. James

    I was waiting for a full frontal… it was only a matter of time 🙂

    Sorry to hear about last night, but glad you feel (and are) a bit more mobile.

    Also, people who have previously experienced 3rd day blues didn’t have a 3G card, so while you’re still in, you’re out too… if that makes any sense.

    Oh yes, one more thing.. ‘zab’??? Come on, you know you want to tell us 🙂

  2. Simon

    ‘zab’ is Arabian from a thousand and one nights. An evocative word with some of the same quality as ‘quim’ the female counterpart. I’ve more full frontals but thought I would spare you.

  3. Lisa Roberts

    I’ve never liked the word penis or vagina.

    Neither suggest their sensory natures.

    Zab is wonderful. Quim or just gorgeous.

  4. Lisa Roberts

    I actually meant sensual.

  5. Simon

    I agree. Terminology is always an intimate aspect of any relationship. When Susan and I were new to each other I used to read her the ‘Thousand and One Nights’ (never finished). Zab and Quim have served us well over the years. But it’s quite different using such terms in a public space although they have become everyday to me.

  6. Liz Dovey

    I agree with the need for better terms, though they can lead to funny places. I understand my friend’s pet name Yoni comes from a similar source, but not well known in English so doesn’t raise eyebrows here.

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